I told Him that I didn't want to write this week. That I didn't have a clue what He wanted me to write about. And that I certainly didn't have any great expectations!
I used to have great expectations. I used to be positive about the future. I used to be... different. And I know exactly when that began to change. It was when events became beyond my control. When mother's progressive dementia required residential care. When sudden death visited my family. When life's events overcame my natural optimism.
The Lord reminded me that I had allowed my focus to shift. He told me to review the past several years objectively. To see if the positive might outweigh the negative. And with that thought in mind, I was off to work.
A steady stream of visitors to the church made contemplation impossible, so I gave up. After closing the office I grabbed my rain gear and headed out to Joseph Whidbey State Park for my walk. While driving there I thought about how much I have come to enjoy my winter walks at Joseph Whidbey.
It's true that the meadows become lakes and that the
ditches become canals. But the woods open up and I can see areas that normally are hidden. Wildlife is more visible and muddy trails force me to slow down. I realized that few others would understand why I so enjoy walking in the rain in this raw winter weather.The trail that I normally take is a loop that begins and ends at the parking lot. I donned my rubber boots and hooded rain slicker and headed out in my preferred direction. I carefully picked my way through standing water so as to not soak my pant cuffs. I took time to admire the colors of the plants. I stopped to watch flocks of birds feeding on winter berries. I watched a hawk circling overhead and spoke to the rabbits partially hidden in the underbrush below. I felt totally removed from the events that had overcome my optimism. I was completely at peace.
As I neared the end of the path the Lord said, "Turn around and walk it in reverse." My immediate thought was, "Oh No!" But I turned around and began to walk back over the ground that I had just covered.
The first thing I noticed was that the standing water reflected the dim winter light like a mirror. I couldn't see where to step and immediately soaked my pant cuffs! Then I rounded a bend and walked straight into wind-driven rain. Rain drops pelted my face. Water streamed down the front of my slicker and soaked my pant legs. I couldn't see the wildlife for the rain in my face and I certainly didn't stop to admire the plants! Plus I had to walk up a steeper incline this direction. And before I was two-thirds of the way back around the trail, I was tired, cold, and soaked to the skin. All I wanted to do was to make it back to the parking lot!That's when I heard the Lord say, "Did you enjoy this?" I replied, "Of course not! Nothing about this has been fun!" He said, "But isn't it the very same trail? What changed?" I replied, "My direction. I purposely take the gentler incline. I normally walk with my back to the wind. And I would never choose to walk this direction on a day like today!" He said, "Then what you are saying is that it isn't the events... the wind, the rain, even the pathway... it's how you choose to approach them."
"I get it now, Lord. Thank You."
I know now that I must make some changes in how I walk through this season of my life; in how I approach its ongoing challenges. But those changes are up to me. I also know that I have a Friend who is steadfastly walking this difficult way with me... guiding me through unfamiliar territory... reminding me that events are not out of control. And that I still have choices to make.
So I choose to have Great Expectations!
Pastor Kit
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