Relationships

This is Husband Pat. Sorry for the late update on “Framing Faith.” Like much of the rest of the USA this winter, Pastor Kit and I have been coping with the effects of immoderate weather.

It is seldom that we get accumulations of snow here on our rustic island in Puget Sound. The surrounding waters retain just enough heat that when it snows, it’s usually a passing phenomenon. But not this time.

As I write, snow continues to fall on a week’s worth of accumulation—packed down by a week’s worth of holiday bustle. So now we have new snow over compact snow and ice. The resulting slippery surface is foreign to many of us residing here in the Pacific North-Wet and has caused life to slow down even more than usual.

Today as I hauled firewood from the back, my thoughts drifted to memories of a past holiday season and the concern that I had for my younger brother Mike. Mike had been suffering for many years with health problems. Last year at this time I was talking with our senior pastor, Pastor Ben. I told him how concerned I was about Mike. Pastor Ben said, “You know, Christmas Day isn’t a bad time to travel.”

So I took Pastor Ben’s advice and booked a cross-country flight to see my brother Mike. I left on Christmas Day and returned on New Year’s Eve. It wasn’t the most pleasant trip that I’ve ever made, but spiritually it was one of the best—and five weeks later Mike was dead.

As the pace of this holiday season has slowed down due to the weather, it has given me the opportunity to slow down my own life and to consider the things that are truly important to me—like relationships. And I remember that God’s heart is directed toward relationships—to the redemption of His creation. He longs to be in a relationship with you, and He has removed every obstacle. But your heart remains yours to give… it is a choice that only you can make.

Some day I will make one more trip to see my brother Mike. Perhaps it will even be on a Christmas Day. Whenever it is, I know that he will be waiting, and that he will want me to come with him to visit the Christmas Child.

So this season, while the snow falls and life slows down a bit, why don’t you make your own reservation to visit the Christmas Child one day? And perhaps even bring Him a present—the one that is only yours to give.

Husband Pat

Take The Risk?

One of our favorite National Forest campgrounds is at Loup Loup, a 4,000 foot mountain pass on Washington State Route 20 between Twisp and Okanogan. On this occasion we were the only campers at this isolated campground, so we left our two dogs, Beau and Belle, unchained.

Beau (husband Pat calls him “our main dog”) is a hound mix. He is big, imposing, and lazy. Belle (husband Pat calls her “our backup dog”) is a heeler mix. She is small, friendly, and energetic.

On our second afternoon there, Pat and I were relaxing in our lawn chairs under the RV awning. We were enjoying the aroma of the warm Ponderosa pine forest, the rustling of the grasshoppers, the rat-a-tat of the woodpeckers, the croaking of the ravens, and the chatter of the squirrels. Beau had crawled under the picnic table and was dozing in its shade. But Belle was a flurry of activity, chasing the squirrels and the chipmunks that seemed to go out of their ways to taunt her.

Eventually Belle cornered two squirrels in a pine tree about three feet from the back of our RV. One of the squirrels was content to sit in the tree, gnawing on pine cones and dropping the cuttings onto our awning. The other squirrel, however, was determined to get to a second tree—on the far side of our campsite. There were other trees that were much closer, but it soon became obvious that the squirrel had one particular tree as its goal.

Initially it would lurch down the first tree, go to the side facing the second tree, and then noisily chatter at Belle who was blocking its way. Belle would rush the squirrel—who would go streaking back up to a branch. This sequence repeated several times.

After a while the squirrel started sneaking down the backside of the first tree. It would glance over at Pat and me, and then it would slowly creep around the base of the tree toward its destination… and the silent, waiting dog. It would see Belle (yikes!) and then run back up the tree, chattering all the way. This new routine went on for at least 20 minutes. Although Belle began to get distracted by other things (bugs! birds!), she always rushed back to her post in time to prevent the squirrel’s escape.

Finally the warm sun got to be too much for Belle and she moved around to the backside of the tree where she could lie down in the shade. This gave the squirrel the advantage. It stealthily inched down the tree on the side away the dog, glanced over at Pat and me, and then made a dash for a large stump enroute to its goal.

Now the picnic table also lay along the route to its destination —the picnic table that sheltered a sleeping dog. And when the squirrel paused on top of the stump, Belle spied it and the chase was on! Instead of running directly to its goal, the squirrel ran to the top of a second stump, Belle closed the gap, the panicked squirrel dashed off the stump and under the picnic table… and ran smack into Beau!!

The combination of impatience and risk-taking can be deadly. It can kill people, relationships, marriages and careers. We may initially ask the Lord to guide our steps, but so often His way seems to take too long and we grow impatient with the waiting. Like the squirrel, we think we know where we want to go, we think we see the way to get there, we devise a plan of action, we take a calculated risk, and we go for it! And like the squirrel, we realize too late that we have overlooked a potentially fatal flaw that God’s timing would have removed.

The squirrel was so focused on eluding Belle and getting to its goal that it completely missed that there were two dogs—and the sleeping dog was the much larger and the more dangerous of the two. Fortunately Beau’s response time was handicapped by his size, his age and the fact that he had to crawl to move under the table—not to mention that he had been sound asleep when the squirrel collided with him!

Pat and I laughed until we cried as the two dogs and the squirrel continued the chase over, under, and around the picnic table. Finally the squirrel sprinted into the clear, ran up the second tree and sat panting on its lowest branch. And while both dogs sat distracted at the base of the tree, the other squirrel quietly left the first tree and scampered off … unnoticed by the dogs … into the forest.

Lesson learned?

Pastor Kit

It's That Messy Part In The Middle

This project started when husband Pat moved a large painting. I came home from work, walked down the hall, let the dogs out, turned to head for the kitchen … and stopped dead in my tracks. The family room wall was bare except for a large painting of the Methow River that had hung in another room for 21 years!

Several things immediately came to mind, but as I sorted through all of them (and my emotions), one thought overrode all of the others: “Does my husband have any clue what he has really done by moving that painting?”

You see, Pat had moved that painting the day after I wrote a story (Take The Risk?) [link] about two squirrels at Loup Loup summit. And the Lord had used that story to remind me to wait for His timing.

I’m a project person. I know what I want to get done, I have a pretty good idea of how to get it done, and I can visualize the results. That vision sustains me. In fact the entire process from beginning to end energizes me. However Pat doesn’t share my enthusiasm. He always enjoys the results of my projects, but “that messy part in the middle” is really stressful for him.

But now Pat had moved a painting from a spot where it had hung for 21 years! That meant that I would have to move something to fill the vacant spot, and then reconfigure the room around the new focal point! And if he could move a painting from one room to another, then so could I! Like it or not, he has now given me permission to start a home improvement project!!

Is there a “home improvement project” that God has been talking to you about? Is there a change that He asking you to make with His help? Could it be your attitude? Your choice of words? Your choice of friends? Your financial priorities? Your use of leisure time? A habit that negatively affects your health? God can’t work out His best plans for you and your family until you are willing to take the first step in the process. Once you do, He’ll keep the process going … and it may get messy at times!

Our kitchen, laundry, and dining rooms are now topsy-turvy. I have been up painting until well after midnight. Things aren’t where they should be, meals are haphazard, pets are neglected, and so is the husband. But daughter Kate and I have spent quality time working together.

Lord willing, order will eventually be restored, the messy part will be behind us, and we will have the results to enjoy for many years to come. With just one step, one change, one “moved painting,” you, too, can give God permission to begin a home improvement project in your life--or in your marriage, or in your career, or in your relationships. And when you partner with God, the final result will be well worth “that messy part in the middle.”

Pastor Kit

Interrupted By Thanksgiving

I honestly tried to not have Thanksgiving dinner this year. I had perfectly good excuses: the dishwasher was broken, the sentimental child was in Korea, his wife was with her family, the middle child would be going to at least two other dinners with his in-laws, the daughter would most likely be with her significant other and his family, and Pat and I could celebrate with Mom at her residence. And my number one reason: if I didn’t have to cook on Thanksgiving, then I would have three consecutive days to strip wallpaper!

My scheme began to fall apart when Brandon called from Korea and said that Hiu Sze wanted to spend Thanksgiving with us. Then Kate called to see what time we planned to have dinner. When I hesitated she said that she and Scott would be coming over anyway to spend the night because he had to be at a nearby job at 4 the next morning. Then while I was upstairs getting ready for work Pat yelled, “Guess who just called!” It was Nathan wanting to know what time we were going to have our dinner!

I gave up. Pat planned a menu and wrote out a list while I went to the church. After work I went grocery shopping with Hiu Sze at 6 pm on the day before Thanksgiving—just one hour before the store closed! The next day Hiu Sze, Pat, and I ate a traditional turkey dinner with Mom at Whidbey Island Manor. Then I went home and started cooking. At 7 pm eight of us sat down to eat our second turkey dinner (third for Nathan and Amanda). And Pat began his prayer, “Lord, thank you that Kit failed at not having Thanksgiving this year.”

Afterward the younger generation played games, and Brandon called from Korea to visit with his brother, sister, and wife. (And used up two calling cards doing it!) Everyone except Mom spent the night at our house. And my children once again showed me that Thanksgiving isn’t just about eating turkey with all of the trimmings—it’s about making time to get together to celebrate the fact that we are all part of the same family.

Now that I think about it, isn’t that the reason for Sunday morning services? We take time to pause and celebrate our common Hope. We celebrate that we can experience unity in our diversity. We celebrate that we are part of God’s growing family.

Or is it that we attend out of habit? Or do we not attend at all because we think that Sunday morning worship is a dated tradition? After all, we have things to do!

My children interrupted my wallpaper plans and got my priorities straightened out for me this Thanksgiving. For that I am truly thankful.

Pastor Kit

More Wallpaper Theology

Our house opens into a small foyer. The living room is to the right, the dining room is to the left, the hallway and the staircase are straight ahead, and the powder room is down the hall. Since this is the first area that visitors see, it is where I began my wallpaper eradication project.

As I stripped the paper I couldn’t help but appreciate how many holes, dents, scrapes and gouges the busy pattern camouflaged. This area had taken a beating over the years as furniture was moved in and out multiple times. Then, too, there were the years when son Nathan lugged his heavy band equipment up and down the stairs to his room. (Occasionally the wall would get in his way!) And then there was the dent in the wall caused by one of the male members of the family tossing a box down the stairs rather than carrying it. (He claims that he simply overshot the intended landing area.)

With the paper off there came surprises. We hadn’t known that the chair railing had once been much lower. Or that the foyer wall was pockmarked with pin holes. But the biggest surprise of all was the collection of nail holes one to three feet above the baseboard heater. (Had a previous occupant armed a preschooler with hammer and nails?) Whatever their origins, for 21 years we had remained blissfully unaware of holes and dents—both large and small—because former owners had chosen to hide the damage under wallpaper rather than to repair it.

Many of us do exactly the same thing. Over the years we get bumped, banged, gouged and dented by life. Some of the wounds are truly ugly… and we just don’t want to deal with them. So we put on a façade in the hopes that no one will notice just how damaged we are. Maybe we tell ourselves that if we cover things up, they will eventually just go away. And the façade we frequently choose is busyness. But the damage remains. It's just under the surface… waiting to be exposed. Waiting to expose us! And we find ourselves spending more and more of our time and energy just to maintain the façade.

I have finished repairing and painting the foyer, hallway and stairwell. The difference is like night and day. When I walked through the front door before, it was dark and dreary. Now it is warm and welcoming.

I am actually looking forward to stripping the remaining wallpaper. The work is tedious and tiring, but this has become my new quiet time with the Lord. I know why I waited so long before starting to strip my wallpaper… but what’s your excuse?


Pastor Kit

Wallpaper Theology

When we bought our house 21 years ago, every room was wallpapered except for one... which had really dark wood paneling. The house had been on the market for 6 months, and I’m convinced that the wallpaper was the reason why it hadn’t sold. It would have been a deterrent for us, too, had we not loved everything else about the house--floor plan, location, yard, price. So we decided that we could live with the wallpaper until "we" had time to remove it... never dreaming that decades would pass with that old wallpaper still hanging around.

There were several reasons for our procrastination, but one stood out--the large living room and all of the hallways were covered with the same paper. And there wasn’t a definite starting and stopping place because of the way these areas were connected. Therefore once "we" started, I would be committed to stripping, prepping, priming, and painting this entire area... and I simply didn’t have the time or energy to do that while raising children and working. (Nor would my short-suffering husband Pat have tolerated “that messy part in the middle” very well.)

There was an insidiousness to the wallpaper. It began as an annoyance. I didn’t like the color--it was too dark. I didn't like the pattern--it was too busy. But it did do a great job of camouflaging the places where renters had hung pictures over the years. And we had left-over paper to repair the worst of the damaged areas, so for years we tolerated its presence.

But then the extra paper ran out. And then the wear and tear on the walls began to dictate the placement of furniture (not to mention the color of accessories). Eventually, I would walk in the front door and become depressed because the most visible areas of my house didn’t reflect my personal preferences. I didn’t feel "at home" in my own house!

I wonder if that isn’t how the Holy Spirit feels about us at times. We are supposed to reflect God's holiness more and more--in thought, word, and deed--as we mature as Christians. But do we? Nearly all of us have one area in our lives where the very thought of change finds us so overwhelmed that we continue to “make do” rather than to let God begin the necessary changes. What initially began as an annoyance eventually becomes a dictator which is at odds with the person God intends us to be. And we have to make a choice.

So I’m stripping wallpaper... and God is talking to me as I do it. And you’ll be hearing more "wallpaper theology" in the weeks ahead. In the meantime, why not let God begin His renovation project in your own life?

Pastor Kit

Framing Faith

In October of last year I began a wallpaper eradication project that grew to include my whole house… 7 rooms, 2 halls, and 2.5 baths! Many of you followed along as I chronicled the lessons I learned while I was stripping my 70’s era wallpaper.

I recently finished the project… one year after it began. Today the paint, rollers, and brushes are stowed; the steamer is boxed; and the final window treatments have been installed.

Looking back, it has been a year-long journey; a journey that included new beginnings for some family members, life-threatening illnesses for others, and, yes, even deaths. And ironically, my “escape” during this turbulent year was my wallpaper eradication project.

On Saturday I was trying to finish the final detail of the project – building a frame for a wall-mounted mural – when God reminded me that it was a picture that had started my journey.

Here's how it happened. One night my husband, Pat, couldn’t sleep. He got up in the middle of the night and moved a large painting from one wall (Where it had hung for 21 years!) to another wall. That simple act set in motion a series of events that resulted in my year-long project. And somehow it seemed fitting that building a frame for a mural would be the final detail in a project that had begun by moving a picture. But I was still struggling…

Meanwhile, Pat was on the computer setting up this blog. (His idea — not mine.) On one of my trips downstairs to the miter saw, he asked, “How do you view your devotionals – what do you consider them to be?” I stopped, thought a moment, shrugged and said, “I guess they are snapshots of my faith.” I then went on to make my cuts.

I was trying to construct a frame that would make the mural appear to be more like a window than a picture. I wanted a frame that would draw people INTO the scene. I wanted it to invite viewers to enter another world. And I was pleading with God for inspiration.

And then I got it — I had that "Eureka!" moment! I knew exactly what I needed to do to finish the frame… AND I knew the answer to Pat’s question. My devotionals are not intended to be static snapshots of life and faith. Rather, I intend them to be a “window” through which others can see how I intentionally live a personal relationship with a Loving Savior. And I want to invite others to do the same.

The mural is now framed to my satisfaction. The blog “Framing Faith” is also now up and running. And I’m going to ask Pat to post the “wallpaper eradication” series now that it, too, is done.

Life is a journey. The terrain is ever-changing. Transitions are inevitable. Many events and circumstances are beyond our control. BUT we get to choose how we respond in every situation! Faith is a choice. How we incorporate faith into our thoughts, speech and daily activities is also a choice. So what are you showing others about your choices? How have you been framing your faith?

Pastor Kit

Let There Be Light!

I grew up in a dark house. Mother covered every window with three layers: blinds, sheers, and curtains. Even when the blinds were open, we couldn’t see out. Large maple trees shielded the west side of the house. A porch covered the south side. A carport blocked the east side. And Mom kept all of these window coverings in place year round.

After I left home and went back to visit Mom, over the years I noticed the darkness more and more. I didn’t really think too much about it until Mother came to live with us. Then it became an issue. She wanted to keep our window shutters closed and our blinds lowered through the day. I knew that the light wasn’t hurting her eyes because I had had them checked out. Besides, two of the rooms had north facing windows that were never bright … one was even shaded by a porch … but she wanted those shutters kept closed at all times! And she wouldn’t turn the lights on unless it was absolutely necessary.

I began to ask her questions about the windows--questions that she couldn’t really answer. So whenever I got home from work I went about opening shutters, raising blinds, and turning on lights. That's because I crave light.

One day, exasperated, Mother blurted out, “Someone will look in and see me!!” And I realized that there was the answer. Mother didn’t want to be seen. She couldn’t tell me why. She got defensive when I asked her to explain to me what she thought people would see … or why she cared … or what she had to hide.

But in a spiritual sense, Mom is correct. The Light wants to come in. He wants to illuminate and expose every dark corner of our lives. And He is willing and able to redeem every part of us. But first we have to choose to let Him in.

Mom lives in a rest home now. Her door is closed, her blinds are drawn, and the curtain around her bed is pulled so that she is hidden from sight when the door is opened. Although she is much better than she has ever been spiritually, physically she still prefers to be shielded from direct view. In fact she won’t live any other way.

I’ve removed most of the shutters and all of the curtains from our large windows. We now have only blinds (which we rarely lower) and valences. Our house is flooded with natural light, and we have unfiltered views of the world outside our windows. I don’t ever intend to live in darkness again. I need The Light. What about you?

Pastor Kit