Whose Voice?

One of the hardest lessons that I have had to learn as a Christian has been to pray and then to keep my mouth shut! Although I may still be a “work in progress” in this area, my husband says that I’ve come a long way. And he should know.

When I was in my thirties, I had an ongoing conflict with Pat over his social drinking. And honestly, he didn’t seem to understand. His job encouraged it, he enjoyed it, so what was my problem?

After one particularly nasty confrontation over Pat’s “problem,” I found myself at the church altar on a Saturday morning, crying, and saying to God, “What am I going to do about Pat?” And God answered. He said, “You’re the problem.”

A physical slap in the face could not have shocked me more than that answer. In the ensuing “discussion” I had with God over this, He made the following three points. They have stuck with me to this very day.

First, I was really more concerned about myself—and what others might think—than I was about Pat. I grew up in a family that was more concerned about appearances than about the emotional health of its family members. It is safe to say that if it weren’t for the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit, I would be repeating this same pattern. I was more concerned about what people would think than about what Pat was thinking.

Second, I claimed to be the “sold-out” (we Nazarenes say “sanctified”) Christian in the family, yet I was far more willing to extend criticism than I was to extend grace. This was difficult, because I ended up having to go to Pat and confess my attitude toward his behavior. Talk about leaning on Grace!!

Third, God revealed to me that I was keeping Pat so on the defensive that he couldn’t hear God’s voice over my voice! Ouch! Years ago, one of my sons was pulled over for speeding. He was on a rural stretch of road, it was late at night, he was tired and wanted to get home sooner!?! He said, “Mom, when I saw the flashing lights in my mirror, I actually heard your voice!”

I used to think that was funny but, now that my children are grown and gone, I don’t so much anymore. Too often it seems that my children hear my voice when they would fare better if they heard God’s voice.

Can your children, spouse, or family members hear God’s voice over your own? Can you even hear His voice over your own? I have had to confess wrong words, wrong attitudes, and wrong actions to my own children, spouse, and family. And that has turned out to open doors so that God could work real changes.

These days, I want my family to hear God’s voice in my own as they continue to hear God’s voice on their own. That’s my prayer. What’s yours?

Pastor Kit